today, as i sat down with my mom and talked, i realized there were things in our lives i never took notice of. we learn or find out new things everyday, even if said things happened in the past, even going as far as to 15 years ago. these things are kind of bothering, i won't lie. i'm mad and maybe even slightly disgusted. even if the conversations went rather casually, i know mom felt just as uncomfortable and hurt as much as i was. it is not in my place to judge people, but when that person is someone you know, someone who's close and connected with you, it's not something you can take lightly of either. my whole viewpoint of him changed and i feel kind of sad and angry and betrayed. it's not something i can help or control.
these days, i feel like i have always been thinking over stuff. i can't stop thinking. there's just so many things- bottled up feelings- and i just. wish i know a way to let it out. it's frustrating and tiring and why does no one understand? or am i the only one being difficult over here?
sometimes i wish time would just stop or slow down a little. i'm way left behind.
Labels: hate my life, personal, self, thoughts
