today, as i sat down with my mom and talked, i realized there were things in our lives i never took notice of. we learn or find out new things everyday, even if said things happened in the past, even going as far as to 15 years ago. these things are kind of bothering, i won't lie. i'm mad and maybe even slightly disgusted. even if the conversations went rather casually, i know mom felt just as uncomfortable and hurt as much as i was. it is not in my place to judge people, but when that person is someone you know, someone who's close and connected with you, it's not something you can take lightly of either. my whole viewpoint of him changed and i feel kind of sad and angry and betrayed. it's not something i can help or control.
these days, i feel like i have always been thinking over stuff. i can't stop thinking. there's just so many things- bottled up feelings- and i just. wish i know a way to let it out. it's frustrating and tiring and why does no one understand? or am i the only one being difficult over here?
sometimes i wish time would just stop or slow down a little. i'm way left behind.
Labels: hate my life, personal, self, thoughts
there are...things in life that i don't really understand.
feelings i can't express properly.
people i hate, but have to associate with daily.
people i love that disappoint me from time to time.
i don't know where to begin. or am i already at the end?
Labels: hate my life, personal, thoughts
you're so fresh to death and sick as cancer. / Friday, April 5, 2013 at 1:22 PM
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paranoia kicking in. cowards shooting criticism in the form of hushed words. i feel like everybody's joke of the year. don't know how to act don't know what to say to other people anymore. i am safe in the confines of my own being.
Labels: hate my life, personal, self, thoughts
if this is for the best.Labels: personal, thoughts
i want to be positive. really. i really do. what does it take for one to be happy? doing the things you love? being a part of something? or living up to people's expectations? haha i don't know anymore.
2012 is coming to an end real soon. it's been a pretty rough year for me and i think i'm ready to leave it all behind. hoping for a better year next year. i'm starting to feel it sinking in; all the negative thoughts and comments. i'm starting to believe it, and i really don't want that.
we're having a family gathering this 29th and 30th. i guess that's the only thing worth looking forward to. haha.
Labels: hate my life, personal, self, thoughts
distant memories.
tomorrow, will everything and everyone still be the same, or will it be another passing dream?Labels: hate my life, random, thoughts
is happiness a choice, or a privilege not everyone could afford?
Labels: thoughts
what if this isn't where i belong to?
what if i'm happier being somewhere else, somewhere different, somewhere far?
i don't want to dream too much, but what if i'm meant to do bigger things?Labels: hate my life, personal, self, thoughts
somewhere along the way in our lives, during the process of growing up, we were taught about making all the good and right choices all the time. we hear stories from the people older than us, their experiences in life. we look up to and learn from them. regrets. there's this thing called regrets, one of the things people keep talking about, keep advising about. do the right thing, make a wise choice. why do you take things for granted? why are you stubborn? why do you never know what you've got till it's gone?
so many time lost, people that come and go. why do i never learn. regrets. keep making the same mistakes because i'm already so used to it.
Labels: personal, thoughts
come to think of it again, my life isn't as bad as my mind make it out to be. looking from positive views, i'm actually pretty lucky. it's something i keep telling myself over and over again. at least you still have your family. at least you still have your friends. at least you still have a place to live in. at least you're not starving. yeah. sometimes i just think too much. the past will always, always be there clinging on to me, but it's my choice to let it go or cling back to it. but sometimes, things are just so much easier said than done. i need to reset my mindset. start over new. will it always never be too late?
Labels: personal, thoughts
if i never have to meet you, would things be easier for me?
would everything be normal?
Labels: thoughts
i don't know what to blog about cause honestly my life isn't that great or exciting. but i wanna start blogging again. i really do D: don't know how many times i've said that. haha. always goes missing from blogger for a few months after that :P but hey, the thought is there. just need a little push to make myself blog more.
unfortunately, my blog will most probably be filled with useless stuff :( like me throwing tantrums at how unfair the world is XD or stuff like, when i get my new kpop albums............oh wtf i have no life ;_;
i've been doing good. still unemployed, yes yes no body wants to hire me ;_; really REALLY starting to question my purpose in life now. what do i really wanna do with my life.....yeah like the previous entries, i know what i want to do but ughhh it's like the most ridiculous thing i've ever thought of ;_; mom will not be amused.
Labels: random, thoughts
things....so many things go on in my life. none of them are good. the bad things always come first, and keep on coming my way. why? i am not trying hard enough. i haven't even tried hard enough, but i am already feeling so exhausted. i want to give up. this life. so cruel. unfair. i want to be happy. i can't be happy. the people...why...
Labels: personal, thoughts
beauty through broken glass / Thursday, May 24, 2012 at 8:38 PM
add comment? (0) Labels: personal, thoughts
today, as i sat down with my mom and talked, i realized there were things in our lives i never took notice of. we learn or find out new things everyday, even if said things happened in the past, even going as far as to 15 years ago. these things are kind of bothering, i won't lie. i'm mad and maybe even slightly disgusted. even if the conversations went rather casually, i know mom felt just as uncomfortable and hurt as much as i was. it is not in my place to judge people, but when that person is someone you know, someone who's close and connected with you, it's not something you can take lightly of either. my whole viewpoint of him changed and i feel kind of sad and angry and betrayed. it's not something i can help or control.
these days, i feel like i have always been thinking over stuff. i can't stop thinking. there's just so many things- bottled up feelings- and i just. wish i know a way to let it out. it's frustrating and tiring and why does no one understand? or am i the only one being difficult over here?
sometimes i wish time would just stop or slow down a little. i'm way left behind.
Labels: hate my life, personal, self, thoughts
there are...things in life that i don't really understand.
feelings i can't express properly.
people i hate, but have to associate with daily.
people i love that disappoint me from time to time.
i don't know where to begin. or am i already at the end?
Labels: hate my life, personal, thoughts
you're so fresh to death and sick as cancer. / Friday, April 5, 2013 at 1:22 PM
add comment? (0)
paranoia kicking in. cowards shooting criticism in the form of hushed words. i feel like everybody's joke of the year. don't know how to act don't know what to say to other people anymore. i am safe in the confines of my own being.
Labels: hate my life, personal, self, thoughts
if this is for the best.Labels: personal, thoughts
i want to be positive. really. i really do. what does it take for one to be happy? doing the things you love? being a part of something? or living up to people's expectations? haha i don't know anymore.
2012 is coming to an end real soon. it's been a pretty rough year for me and i think i'm ready to leave it all behind. hoping for a better year next year. i'm starting to feel it sinking in; all the negative thoughts and comments. i'm starting to believe it, and i really don't want that.
we're having a family gathering this 29th and 30th. i guess that's the only thing worth looking forward to. haha.
Labels: hate my life, personal, self, thoughts
distant memories.
tomorrow, will everything and everyone still be the same, or will it be another passing dream?Labels: hate my life, random, thoughts
is happiness a choice, or a privilege not everyone could afford?
Labels: thoughts
what if this isn't where i belong to?
what if i'm happier being somewhere else, somewhere different, somewhere far?
i don't want to dream too much, but what if i'm meant to do bigger things?Labels: hate my life, personal, self, thoughts
somewhere along the way in our lives, during the process of growing up, we were taught about making all the good and right choices all the time. we hear stories from the people older than us, their experiences in life. we look up to and learn from them. regrets. there's this thing called regrets, one of the things people keep talking about, keep advising about. do the right thing, make a wise choice. why do you take things for granted? why are you stubborn? why do you never know what you've got till it's gone?
so many time lost, people that come and go. why do i never learn. regrets. keep making the same mistakes because i'm already so used to it.
Labels: personal, thoughts
come to think of it again, my life isn't as bad as my mind make it out to be. looking from positive views, i'm actually pretty lucky. it's something i keep telling myself over and over again. at least you still have your family. at least you still have your friends. at least you still have a place to live in. at least you're not starving. yeah. sometimes i just think too much. the past will always, always be there clinging on to me, but it's my choice to let it go or cling back to it. but sometimes, things are just so much easier said than done. i need to reset my mindset. start over new. will it always never be too late?
Labels: personal, thoughts
if i never have to meet you, would things be easier for me?
would everything be normal?
Labels: thoughts
i don't know what to blog about cause honestly my life isn't that great or exciting. but i wanna start blogging again. i really do D: don't know how many times i've said that. haha. always goes missing from blogger for a few months after that :P but hey, the thought is there. just need a little push to make myself blog more.
unfortunately, my blog will most probably be filled with useless stuff :( like me throwing tantrums at how unfair the world is XD or stuff like, when i get my new kpop albums............oh wtf i have no life ;_;
i've been doing good. still unemployed, yes yes no body wants to hire me ;_; really REALLY starting to question my purpose in life now. what do i really wanna do with my life.....yeah like the previous entries, i know what i want to do but ughhh it's like the most ridiculous thing i've ever thought of ;_; mom will not be amused.
Labels: random, thoughts
things....so many things go on in my life. none of them are good. the bad things always come first, and keep on coming my way. why? i am not trying hard enough. i haven't even tried hard enough, but i am already feeling so exhausted. i want to give up. this life. so cruel. unfair. i want to be happy. i can't be happy. the people...why...
Labels: personal, thoughts
beauty through broken glass / Thursday, May 24, 2012 at 8:38 PM
add comment? (0) Labels: personal, thoughts
