Jumping yeah jumping yeah everybody~~ / Friday, November 8, 2013 at 6:53 PM
add comment? (0) Gonna say goodbye to blogger now \o/ since all my posts are short anyway, I'll be using dayre from now onwards :) see you there, , Whoever you are. Heh.
Dayre
빠빠빠빠빠~~
Labels: goodbye, random
i'm losing what i don't deserve / Monday, October 21, 2013 at 12:21 PM
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i have missed Linkin Park :D listening to their past albums, i realized i'm still in love with their music. teehee. good times.
attended a friend's wedding yesterday. congrats babe! :)
also met high school's classmates :) wish there were more of us!
it felt good to be out and catching up stuff with old friends.
see you guys again soon!
Labels: friends
we only said goodbye with words, i died a hundred times. / Tuesday, October 1, 2013 at 11:13 PM
add comment? (0) rereading my old posts, i realized everything sounded so depressing. hahah. and damn, my last post was in August and now it's already October. time, please slow down a little!
blogging feels kinda useless now when there's nothing worthy to blog about?? especially when everything is so short and can be tweeted instead. haha. but tweeting about your personal life/thoughts too often is kinda attention seeking hahahakajladhad.
i wanna write more but...let's make this post less heavy/dark/depressing for once \o/
i wanna move my blog to livejournal but i don't know.
Labels: random
Shitty title for a shitty post on a shitty day / Tuesday, August 27, 2013 at 11:30 PM
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…to be very honest, I actually wanted to blog a lot but a sudden laziness surge over me and I don’t know if I want to anymore? Hahahah
Well, it’s been a shitty day for me (who am I kidding, I’m living a shitty life on a daily basis) and I feel like I can only write it down cause somehow writing makes me feel better…but I don’t even know where to begin \o///
Okay first of all, I had a job interview this morning. I was so nervous, I won’t lie on that part. Upon arrival, four other girls were already there waiting for the same interview. I saw a couple of familiar faces and I feel a little bit comforted, but the nerves did not go away. I tried memorizing the bank’s (yes it was a bank) history and background and all but nothing gets into my head. I felt even more anxious when the other candidates were all so calm and shit like WOMAN HOW DO YOU. So anyway, we were called one by one and I came in fourth.
When they called my name, I wasn’t that nervous anymore? I don’t know. Maybe it was…a feeling hahaha like I don’t know, “I don’t care what’s going to happen to me after this” kind of feeling. And boy I was wrong because I’m still living in the embarrassment of the moment hahahahajsadhjasg
They started talking about my personality traits chart or something and I just froze I HAD NO IDEA WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT AND I WAS RUDELY STARING? I didn’t even know they were asking me questions until silence fell and I was all, umm sorry sir you were saying???? This happened a lot during the interview okay T__T
As expected they asked about what I know about the bank and I feel like shit already hahaha I couldn’t answer ANYTHING and I was stuttering like fuck and I don’t know what I said back then. My sudden lack of ability to string words together both baffled and embarrassed me at the same time. Omg why did I say what I said HOW DO I LIVE WITH THIS EMBARRASSMENT, WITH MYSELF
Will I ever be able to get over this humiliation u__u
I don’t want to work at a bank anymore, the interview is scary Hahahaa /punches everyone
That being said, I know a lot of people are pissed off and disappointed in me for screwing the interview. I know, I know. I feel like shit too. One of the interviewers asked me if I was shy of meeting new people (cause bank tellers will meet a heck lot of people in their works) and I wanted to say no (but my personality test prolly said otherwise) because I’m friendly okay I like meeting new people and I talk a lot but I guess internet and real life situations are in no way similar u__u I might have met a lot of people on the internet and made a lot of friends but that doesn’t mean I’m a social butterfly (apakan sial ngam kah tu words nya? Hahah) in real life too. Sedih jua hahaha. I SHOULD GO OUT MORE AND SOCIALIZE AND PARTICIPATE IN REAL LIFE CONVERSATIONS TO BOOST MY CONFIDENCE AND SOCIAL SKILLS AND ABILITY TO MEMBUAL
Okay I’m a little sad I screwed the interview.
Labels: hate my life
today, as i sat down with my mom and talked, i realized there were things in our lives i never took notice of. we learn or find out new things everyday, even if said things happened in the past, even going as far as to 15 years ago. these things are kind of bothering, i won't lie. i'm mad and maybe even slightly disgusted. even if the conversations went rather casually, i know mom felt just as uncomfortable and hurt as much as i was. it is not in my place to judge people, but when that person is someone you know, someone who's close and connected with you, it's not something you can take lightly of either. my whole viewpoint of him changed and i feel kind of sad and angry and betrayed. it's not something i can help or control.
these days, i feel like i have always been thinking over stuff. i can't stop thinking. there's just so many things- bottled up feelings- and i just. wish i know a way to let it out. it's frustrating and tiring and why does no one understand? or am i the only one being difficult over here?
sometimes i wish time would just stop or slow down a little. i'm way left behind.
Labels: hate my life, personal, self, thoughts
there are...things in life that i don't really understand.
feelings i can't express properly.
people i hate, but have to associate with daily.
people i love that disappoint me from time to time.
i don't know where to begin. or am i already at the end?
Labels: hate my life, personal, thoughts
you're so fresh to death and sick as cancer. / Friday, April 5, 2013 at 1:22 PM
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paranoia kicking in. cowards shooting criticism in the form of hushed words. i feel like everybody's joke of the year. don't know how to act don't know what to say to other people anymore. i am safe in the confines of my own being.
Labels: hate my life, personal, self, thoughts
Jumping yeah jumping yeah everybody~~ / Friday, November 8, 2013 at 6:53 PM
add comment? (0) Gonna say goodbye to blogger now \o/ since all my posts are short anyway, I'll be using dayre from now onwards :) see you there, , Whoever you are. Heh.
Dayre
빠빠빠빠빠~~
Labels: goodbye, random
i'm losing what i don't deserve / Monday, October 21, 2013 at 12:21 PM
add comment? (0)
i have missed Linkin Park :D listening to their past albums, i realized i'm still in love with their music. teehee. good times.
attended a friend's wedding yesterday. congrats babe! :)
also met high school's classmates :) wish there were more of us!
it felt good to be out and catching up stuff with old friends.
see you guys again soon!
Labels: friends
we only said goodbye with words, i died a hundred times. / Tuesday, October 1, 2013 at 11:13 PM
add comment? (0) rereading my old posts, i realized everything sounded so depressing. hahah. and damn, my last post was in August and now it's already October. time, please slow down a little!
blogging feels kinda useless now when there's nothing worthy to blog about?? especially when everything is so short and can be tweeted instead. haha. but tweeting about your personal life/thoughts too often is kinda attention seeking hahahakajladhad.
i wanna write more but...let's make this post less heavy/dark/depressing for once \o/
i wanna move my blog to livejournal but i don't know.
Labels: random
Shitty title for a shitty post on a shitty day / Tuesday, August 27, 2013 at 11:30 PM
add comment? (0)
…to be very honest, I actually wanted to blog a lot but a sudden laziness surge over me and I don’t know if I want to anymore? Hahahah
Well, it’s been a shitty day for me (who am I kidding, I’m living a shitty life on a daily basis) and I feel like I can only write it down cause somehow writing makes me feel better…but I don’t even know where to begin \o///
Okay first of all, I had a job interview this morning. I was so nervous, I won’t lie on that part. Upon arrival, four other girls were already there waiting for the same interview. I saw a couple of familiar faces and I feel a little bit comforted, but the nerves did not go away. I tried memorizing the bank’s (yes it was a bank) history and background and all but nothing gets into my head. I felt even more anxious when the other candidates were all so calm and shit like WOMAN HOW DO YOU. So anyway, we were called one by one and I came in fourth.
When they called my name, I wasn’t that nervous anymore? I don’t know. Maybe it was…a feeling hahaha like I don’t know, “I don’t care what’s going to happen to me after this” kind of feeling. And boy I was wrong because I’m still living in the embarrassment of the moment hahahahajsadhjasg
They started talking about my personality traits chart or something and I just froze I HAD NO IDEA WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT AND I WAS RUDELY STARING? I didn’t even know they were asking me questions until silence fell and I was all, umm sorry sir you were saying???? This happened a lot during the interview okay T__T
As expected they asked about what I know about the bank and I feel like shit already hahaha I couldn’t answer ANYTHING and I was stuttering like fuck and I don’t know what I said back then. My sudden lack of ability to string words together both baffled and embarrassed me at the same time. Omg why did I say what I said HOW DO I LIVE WITH THIS EMBARRASSMENT, WITH MYSELF
Will I ever be able to get over this humiliation u__u
I don’t want to work at a bank anymore, the interview is scary Hahahaa /punches everyone
That being said, I know a lot of people are pissed off and disappointed in me for screwing the interview. I know, I know. I feel like shit too. One of the interviewers asked me if I was shy of meeting new people (cause bank tellers will meet a heck lot of people in their works) and I wanted to say no (but my personality test prolly said otherwise) because I’m friendly okay I like meeting new people and I talk a lot but I guess internet and real life situations are in no way similar u__u I might have met a lot of people on the internet and made a lot of friends but that doesn’t mean I’m a social butterfly (apakan sial ngam kah tu words nya? Hahah) in real life too. Sedih jua hahaha. I SHOULD GO OUT MORE AND SOCIALIZE AND PARTICIPATE IN REAL LIFE CONVERSATIONS TO BOOST MY CONFIDENCE AND SOCIAL SKILLS AND ABILITY TO MEMBUAL
Okay I’m a little sad I screwed the interview.
Labels: hate my life
today, as i sat down with my mom and talked, i realized there were things in our lives i never took notice of. we learn or find out new things everyday, even if said things happened in the past, even going as far as to 15 years ago. these things are kind of bothering, i won't lie. i'm mad and maybe even slightly disgusted. even if the conversations went rather casually, i know mom felt just as uncomfortable and hurt as much as i was. it is not in my place to judge people, but when that person is someone you know, someone who's close and connected with you, it's not something you can take lightly of either. my whole viewpoint of him changed and i feel kind of sad and angry and betrayed. it's not something i can help or control.
these days, i feel like i have always been thinking over stuff. i can't stop thinking. there's just so many things- bottled up feelings- and i just. wish i know a way to let it out. it's frustrating and tiring and why does no one understand? or am i the only one being difficult over here?
sometimes i wish time would just stop or slow down a little. i'm way left behind.
Labels: hate my life, personal, self, thoughts
there are...things in life that i don't really understand.
feelings i can't express properly.
people i hate, but have to associate with daily.
people i love that disappoint me from time to time.
i don't know where to begin. or am i already at the end?
Labels: hate my life, personal, thoughts
you're so fresh to death and sick as cancer. / Friday, April 5, 2013 at 1:22 PM
add comment? (0)
paranoia kicking in. cowards shooting criticism in the form of hushed words. i feel like everybody's joke of the year. don't know how to act don't know what to say to other people anymore. i am safe in the confines of my own being.
Labels: hate my life, personal, self, thoughts
